Children are not born harsh or brutal. Family brutality causes children to become harsh. Children need to be treated fairly. Physical brutality is destructive to a child. Many people think that rough treatment is “necessary.” Harsh treatment for a child can be part of a nation’s culture or part of a religion. Some teachers are brutal and children learn harshness in school.
Where it Comes From
Physical aggression or threats in a family create an atmosphere of brutality. The worst destruction, however, comes from sexual experiences. Sadistic sexual abuse creates deep and lasting harm. Severe “moral” criticisms of a young person are mental abuse and can create lifelong harm. Children are too young to be exposed to sexual matters that may interest adults.
The computer slogan “garbage in, garbage out” carries a lot of truth. Another good slogan is “Brutality in, brutality out. ” What goes around comes around because the bad experience is stored in emotional armor. Emotional armor exists in chronically tense muscles and rigid attitudes.
Discipline should be consistent. Children become anxious when one day they get disciplined for misbehavior, but another day the same behavior is okay.
No one would take pride or pleasure in the use of force unless he or she had learned it – and suffered it – at home growing up. A parent who grew up with rough touching will have developed physical armoring. They may believe that brutality is normal. These attitudes can last a lifetime.
When Trouble Comes Back Around
Muscles and attitudes store the bitter experience as emotional armoring. Armoring keeps brutality out of sight until later in life. Brutality emerges later when opportunity presents. Someone smaller, younger, or naïve may be the perfect target. Then brutality just feels necessary.
No baby is born brutal. Brutal experience makes people brutal.